Rats!
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  • Kevin

    You first need actual parks to worry about.

  • Kris

    “Brooklyn’s parks host tribes of vagrants who hunt the local wildlife and cook it over open fires; in Manhattan, as this video shows, rats the size of squirrels have lost their fear of man and frisk like prairie dogs around the jaded hipsters of Tompkins Square Park.”

    The solution is obvious: Manhattan needs to import some of Brooklyn’s vagrants.

  • Brock

    Clearly what Manhattan really suffers from is a feral cat shortage!

  • Soul

    Well, maybe “rats cooked in the kitchen” is needed.

  • vanderleun

    “New York, New York
    What a wonderful town.
    The Bronx is full
    And the rats downtown.
    New York! New York!”

    It’s good they’ll have the 16 hawks to admire in the air. That way they won’t notice the 16,000 rats chewing on their feet.

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