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Saying Goodbye
Published on: September 23, 2013
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  • qet

    Beautifully done. Thank you. At 20, a reflection like this by a complete stranger would not have moved me. At 50, it moved me almost to tears. My condolences on your loss.

  • lukelea

    The final chord.

  • colagirl

    My mother passed away a few months ago. She had some pretty severe psychological and substance abuse problems that had driven a wedge between us, but I still miss her. I’m sorry for your loss.

  • Anthony

    WRM, your mother lives on through you and… You’ll have moments but they get manageable with time. Thanks for testimony and look out for the “senior” Mead.

  • Ed

    What a beautiful memorial for your mother. My she rest in peace and may you find comfort in the wonderful life she led.

  • gwvanderleun

    My condolences and my prayers go out for your mother and your entire family.

  • paul_leone

    I’m very sorry for your loss, sir.

  • bpuharic

    It’s always a sorrow when a parent passes away. My father did so in January.

    There are, unfortunately, many people who were never meant to be parents but you can have consolation in the fact she loved you and gave you warm and happy memories, as you have done for your children

    Condolences to your and your family.

  • EliseRonan

    My condolences for your loss. Just a bit of unsolicited advice. Your loss may be overwhelming but it is nothing as compared to your father’s and it never will be. Having dealt with the unexpected death of my father last year after 53 years of marriage, my mother has lived through the hardest year of her life. She has basically had to restructure her world and create a future without the love of her life. Luckily we, their children and grandchildren, were there for her as much as possible. Just yesterday she made a joke and actually laughed. It was the first time I had heard her laugh in well over a year. No, her pain is not gone and I don’t know if it will ever go away. Time does not heal all wounds, sometimes it merely teaches you how to live with the pain. What you need right now is time to heal, but what is even more important is that what your father needs above all else right now is you. My you all find peace.

  • Thank you for sharing that. I am so sorry for you loss.

  • submandave

    WRM, a very difficult read, as we lost our mom just this July after years of rheumatoid arthritis, COPD, and, finally, pancreatic cancer. Your mother sounded so similar in spirit to mine, that I can only hope she played pinochle too, as I know Mom would appreciate a good partner.

    I offer no advice on grief, as I, too, feel as if I am wandering in the dark sometimes, but know that you are in the thoughts of us who walk the same path.

  • f1b0nacc1

    I have no words.
    My respects to you and your family…she will be with you always.

  • qultr

    What a lovely tribute and sweet song. It is a terribly sad time, but I’m pretty sure you have the faith that you will see her again, and that will help you through. Here’s another song, Your Long Journey, by Doc Watson and his wife Rosa Lee that your Dad might appreciate.

  • Fat_Man

    My condolences. May the Source of All Comfort, comfort you.

  • Anthony

    What a moving tribute to an outstanding person. May she rest in peace.

  • JimB

    My loving wife Mary died just 13 years ago yesterday after 48 years of marriage. She was just eighteen years old on our wedding date. We had four super children (one, unfortunately, killed in an auto accident four months after my wife died). I know how your father feels; I have gone through it. My condolences and prayers.

    • avery12

      God be with you JimB as you experience the sad anniversary of your beloveds passing. You will see each other again, I believe.

  • What a wonderful tribute! I’m very sorry for your loss.

  • A life, well lived by filling it up, so it could be poured into others … with positive effect that will persist for generations to come.

    Dr. Mead, my prayer is that you, your father, and your family will find the peace, in this trying time, to continue her positive effect in your own lives and works.

  • John Storr

    Thank you for sharing your mother’s spirit with us strangers — through your words I could feel her grace and love and humor.

  • Joel_Natzke

    WRM, that was beautiful. Right now, my mother is progressing through Alzheimer’s, which her mother had when I was a child. Needless to say, the family knows exactly what’s coming. (I call it the long, slow goodbye.) Like your parents, my father is Mom’s primary caregiver, and the stress and pain he goes through on a daily basis proves that he is a saint. I know that someday I will come to know the grief and sadness you are enduring, and this piece makes me feel stronger, that I can see it through. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

  • TheCynical1

    I’m in awe. Professor, thank you for sharing this loving tribute, and teaching how to put life into proper perspective.

  • GR

    I’m sorry for your loss.

  • Your mother sounds as if she was a wonderful person. Her legacy lives on through you and the clan she built. The grief will grow less intense, but you never get past all of it. But I don’t think you would want to forget her.

  • M_Becker

    Dr. Mead your mother has left a legacy that is unmatchable.

    The interesting thing is that she didn’t concern herself with her “legacy”, she concerned herself with making an impact on a life each day.

    That, for those of us who know her only through your words, is a life changer. Please accept our family’s condolences and thank you for sharing your wonderful memories.

  • Farnsworh

    Your Mother’s love, strength and humor will resonate in your family and friends from now until so far over the horizon we can’t see. God bless and keep your Dad.

  • wigwag

    May her memory be for a blessing.

  • mcrognale

    Eternal rest grant unto her, Oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her souls, and all the souls of the faithful departed, rest in peace. Amen.

  • C.T. Westing

    Thank you so much for sharing something so intimate with us. I find myself reading your blog almost religiously, but this was the first time I was really touched by it. My prayers to you and your family. She sounded like a truly remarkable woman.

  • PGP

    Thank you for sharing a moment with your mom with us. She was very different from my mom in many ways (education, happy marriage), but similar in others: indomitable will, up from nothing. We’re lucky to have had them.

    I’ve learned that relationships with dead loved ones don’t end, they merely change. May your relationship with your mom always bring you warmth and gratitude.

  • crabtown

    What an amazing woman. I lost my dad. You get thru it, not over it. Blessings.

  • SaraB55

    The most amazing thing about her was her resilience.

    That is her greatest gift to you in this time of sorrow.

  • Corlyss

    Beautifully put. My condolences on the death of your mother.

  • ColoComment

    A beautiful and lasting tribute to your mother. I lost my parents 38 years ago this fall, and I have missed them every one of those days.
    As someone earlier said, you get through it but you don’t get over it.

  • rbeccah

    How lucky you are to have had your life shaped by this woman. She was remarkable. How I wish I had known her, and how I envy you for having known her.

  • avery12

    What a wonderful, loving tribute to your mom. My prayers for you and all your family, as you mourn your absent loved one and celebrate the love she created with you in all your lives.
    Life is a work of art. That art is love. The medium is relationship. The artist is the spirit.

  • Bart Hall

    Especially meaningful, sir, as my own mother left behind her earthly tent at age 95 less than 48 hours later. The accelerating loss of these GI generation folks is leaving an immense whole in our entire society at the very time we probably need them the most.

    And the Millennials, their modern generational equivalent, have not yet been heated, shaped and annealed by the approaching crisis destined to define *them* as America’s next “Greatest Generation.”

  • Fred_Unger

    Walter, I found myself crying by the end. Thank you for sharing such personal matters so openly. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • J R Yankovic

    My regrets at stumbling so late on this deeply moving retrospective (my attendance at Via Meadia has been spotty these days but that hardly excuses it). The loss of a mother is as uncharted and difficult a family territory as any I can think of. And such a mother. My prayers go with you and your family – and in particular that you’re able to take as much time as you need, given the circumstances. God is holding you in the palm of His hand – and, may I venture to add, your mother now has the further joy of remembering, praying for and continuing to guide a son who is a real credit to her legacy.

  • Giles Norman

    Thank you! I have tears in my eyes as I write this. You have done her proud.

  • Anthony

    As I wrote this time last year WRM (during your family’s period of reflection and grief), saying goodbye to a parent, child, sibling,…is never easy. But, time and Mead family procession eases thought of passing. You WRM and other Mead’s reflect life of Polly Mead eternally – God Bless.

  • John

    Thank you for telling a wonderful story of a wonderful lady

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