The End of Hook-Up Culture?
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  • Stacy Garvey

    I’d bet that some young men are almost as uncomfortable with hook-ups as the young women interviewed. Not all men are only after sex and some do seek relationships. I understand young folks have always been young folks but there is something so very sad about what sex has become.

    • ojfl

      I am not so sure about college aged men Stacy. At that age men are still a tad immature and are not exactly looking for a long term commitment. But their opinion will change to follow the lead of these ladies. It also has to do with upbringing. I was immature but because of my mother I knew to respect women and understand that regardless of what culture told us, men and women viewed sex differently. This kind of opinion by this young lady only confirms mother was right, as usual.

    • Thomas Richards

      I’m still an approximately youngish man, and I can assure you that while what I had at university was hook-ups, what I wanted was a relationship. I found (invariably drunken) casual sex, while generally fun at the time, not worth the subsequent feelings of indefinable awkward malaise it engendered in me. So I stopped doing it. Not, admittedly, while I was still at university. But even then I would have taken a relationship with someone I actually liked like a shot.

      I don’t know many men my age or younger who fully share my antipathy to casual sex (though there are others). But I certainly think the vast majority – at any age – would take a good relationship in preference even if they do enjoy casual sex. Only sociopaths don’t want love.

  • Jim Luebke

    Because this time, everything will be different!

  • Anthony

    Welcome back to the fight WigWag.

  • I think Berger’s right that the tide won’t be reversed in any sort of time frame worth speculating about. But I also think that the tide has receded somewhat. The “SWUGs” are far from the first evidence I’ve seen of the exhaustion of, and exasperation with, the sexual revolution. It’s just that this new restraint comes not as a result of restraint enforced by a quasi-official American Christianity or by tightly-knit communities but as one among many “lifestyle” options, chosen on its own perceived merits. That (i.e. religion or lifestyle as a chosen thing rather than as a given thing) is the real change that won’t be reversed anytime soon. The rise and now partial ebbing of sexual libertinism flow from that change, rather than the other way around.

  • Jim Luebke

    The realities of human experience — male, female, and reproduction — haven’t significantly changed for the last two thousand years, no matter what anyone likes to pretend. So, optimal relations between men, women, and the children we have together haven’t changed that much either, though we’re falling farther short these days.

    It’s good to see that at least some people are starting to grow up. Though considering the continuing reproductive failure of European society over several decades, it’s doubtful whether a society can get back on track without abandoning the “choice of lifestyle” approach and returning to normative expectations of the traditional family.

  • I find the irony here amazing. While young women are talking about relationships and the idea that sex is not animalistic but part and parcel of the human-love-relationship, we still think that it is OK to teach youngmen to whore around. It is time to also teach our sons that hook-up culture is not OK. That is dehumanizing to them as well as to the women they sleep with. That sex is part of the whole human being and when taken separate from their entirety, it destroys a part of themselves. I taught that to my sons and they follow this moral code. It wasn’t hard to do. Why do we give such short-shrift to the morality of our youngmen?

    • Jim Luebke

      Many of us do teach our sons that the hookup culture is not OK.

      If young women don’t agree, our sons will never believe us.

  • bigfire

    The hookup culture have been a god send for the pickup artist by providing them with a fertile field of willing participants. They’re thanking the feminists for every one of their pick ups.

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