Domo Arigato, Professor Roboto
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  • Since we are lowering the workload of these profs, I’m sure they’ll agree it’s only fair to commensurately lower their salaries, right? Being the fair-minded liberal social justice elites that they are I’m certain they’ll agree. Right?

  • Jim Luebke

    Computers will not be able to detect creativity or original thought, and will in fact downgrade papers that contain such things as “inaccurate”.

    If you think that one of the problems in higher education is that untalented students cynically parrot what the professor and TA’s want to hear, putting a robot in the loop isn’t going to help matters.

  • Andrew Allison

    Perelman’s is a straw argument. While it would be possible, if the rules were know, to get a good grade from a nonsense essay, how likely is it that a student would do so? Assuming that the first 100 are human-graded each year, it seems unlikely that, even if they wished to, students would be able to beat the system.

  • JackLifton

    Here’s an example of what would happen:

    Student: I believe that we live in a 4-dimensional, not a three dimensional universe, and that the speed of light is a constant no matter what the relative frame of reference in which our laws of motion are used in calculation.

    Robot: Not correct; False premise

    Grade: F or “0”

    It is recommended that Mr Einstein be put back to an earlier class to learn classical mechanics or dismissed from the university entirely..

  • Bill Gryan

    Do you get a better grade if you sleep with it?

  • ROLYAT136

    From the Not-Yet-News Network:

    Graduate assistants, who helped develop this grading
    program, surreptitiously created a program to write college essays.

    Connection to the inter-net allows the algorithm to mine
    data for the essay based on inputs such as subject and desired length. Future
    upgrades are to include an add-on module that allows the writer’s class notes
    to help focus the essay towards the professor’s topics and ideology. A second
    add-on would turn audio recordings of the professor’s lectures into usable
    notes for the essay program.

    Senator Schumer held a press conference denouncing the
    writing program as a “threat” to the “substantive reputation of
    our institutions of higher learning”. Likening its effect to the impact
    that electronic calculators had on the “math I.Q.” of the nation,
    Schumer outlined his proposed regulations to prevent the dissemination of
    “high-capacity writing programs” which he suggested should include
    any program capable of creating an essay greater than 100 words and having
    features such as grammar checking, a thesaurus, or a bayonet mount. Senator
    Warren proposed regulations on the price of such programs and a program to “profit-share”
    the program’s revenues with the Federal Government, commenting that the alleged
    owners of the program had not experienced any material costs in its creation,
    and arguing that, in any event, they could not have built the program without
    the M.I.T. computers hardware purchased by the university with federal grants.
    President Soetoro has suggested that he is willing to be reasonable if the
    “pirates” offering this software agree to a reasonable scheme for
    comprehensive federal government profit sharing. 😉

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