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The Battle Cry of Freedom, Now With Caffeine

World War Two gave us Spam.  The space program gave us Tang.  Today’s Pentagon is preparing a new treat for the American palate: caffeinated meat.   According the the WaPo, caffeinated meat is the latest military technology from the lab that invented Kevlar.

Napoleon said that an army travels on its belly, and supply has always been an important focus of US military planning.  Ulysses Grant started his military career in the Quartermaster Corps during the Mexican War.  Samuel Wilson, the original “Uncle Sam”, was not a general or politician but supplied meat to the army during the War of 1812.  Many Civil War songs revolve around food: “Hard Crackers,” “Goober Peas”, and, of course, the immortal “Battle Cry of Freedom.”

Why do the men love mutton so
The captain he did cry
Shouting the battle cry of freedom
Because it makes their whiskers grow
the sergeant he replied
Shouting the battle cry of freedom

These days, with the caffeine equivalent of one cup of coffee in every Slim Jim sized piece of jerky, Uncle Sam’s meat does more than promote the growth of facial hair.  Word to terrorists: Be afraid, be very afraid.

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  • Luke Lea

    And don’t forget, the tin can was invented in France during the Napoleonic wars. It was a product of French war research and development.

  • Corlyss

    No wonder I could eat Slim Jims by the can full!

  • Jacksonian Libertarian

    I thought it would be forever impossible to improve on the perfection that is Bacon, I was wrong.

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