Worship of the old Polynesian gods has been making a comeback in our multicultural age. After massive flooding in Hawaii’s narrow Iao Valley (a significant area in the indigenous religion) washed 3,000 tons of rocks downstream, causing over $900,000 in damage, Maui County crushed some of the rocks and dumped them at the local landfill. When Native Hawaiians protested this desecration, iconoclastic Mayor Alan Arakawa responded, “There’s no such thing as sacred rocks,” adding that 19th-century King Kamehameha had declared Christianity to be Hawaii’s official religion. “In Christianity, if I remember the Ten Commandments correctly,” ‘Thou shall have no false God before me.’”

South Maui Rep. Kaniela Ing denounced Arakawa’s “colonized, theocratic approach,” while the state Office of Hawaiian Affairs issued a fatwa: “Pohaku (rocks) are a cornerstone of Native Hawaiian material and living culture, providing . . . immense spiritual and political importance. . .” To date, the sacred rocks have failed to offer oracular flood control advice.