Heads are rolling and ministers are being shuffled as Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro takes on the dangerous saboteurs that comrade Stalin warned us about. The country with the world’s biggest oil reserves can’t seem to keep baby formula in its stores, as sinister right-wing “mafias” have speculated Venezuela’s way into chronic sugar and milk shortages. Maduro identified the culprits in his first state of the union address as President, reports the BBC:
Speaking at the National Assembly in Caracas, Mr Maduro vowed to introducer [sic] tougher penalties against “sabotage and speculation”.“How can you describe someone who hides [from the shelves] formula milk for babies? We cannot create a new euphemism for that. That person must be described as a criminal,” said President Maduro.But Mr Maduro says his government is under attack from powerful right-wing sectors in the country.“While the government makes a big effort to guarantee the quality of some services and the availability of products, the mafias speculate with other products and even medicines,” said Mr Maduro.
Maduro added that his plans for economic growth, being executed under his special powers to govern by decree, have been “very successful.”If the Bolivarian revolution ever reaches Saudi Arabia, it’s clear what would happen after a decade of revolutionary reforms. A critical shortage of sand would bring the kingdom to its knees.