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Jesus vs. Chávez

When last we checked in with the chief of the ankle-biters, Venezuela’s Hugo Chávez was claiming Jesus had told him he was cured of cancer (thus foiling a nefarious Western plot). Something malignant appears to have resurfaced, according to the Washington Post, and cancer experts (who haven’t had access to this patient) say this is a very bad sign.

If Chávez’s cancer really is back, it raises an important question: Was Jesus lying when he told Chávez he was cured, or was Chávez lying when he told the world that the Lord of the Universe had given him a special revelation?

Via Meadia joins the leader of the Venezuelan opposition in wishing Chávez a speedy and full recovery from whatever ails him—as well as a more direct connection with Jesus. It sounds like the two of them need to have a talk.

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  • vanderleun

    Speaking just for myself, here’s hoping that Chavez has an opportunity for a 1-to-1 face to face meeting with Jesus just a soon as possible. Today would be good. I’m sure the Lord can fit him in even if it’s just to clear up his attitude before dispatching him on to his reward.

  • J R Yankovic

    Great fun. Always good to hear from the lighter – but still focused – side of Via Meadia (which, assuming I’ve been paying attention, has been getting better all the time). In fact it would be nice to think of Chavez reading you folks regularly. I imagine it improving his recovery prospects – again, in the FULLEST sense of the word – by leaps and bounds.

  • Kenny

    I can just see the bumper sticker now:

    “Jesus lied, Chavez died.”

  • John

    It turns out that Jesus was actually one of Hugo’s Cuban doctors, Dr.Jesus (pronounced Hay soos) DeNazereth MD.

  • Kris

    This news leaves me absolutely verklempt. I need some music to take my mind off this.

  • Kris

    Chavez and Jesus Quintana? Yeah, I can see that.

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