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Die, Yuppie Scum!

Living in New York, as everybody knows, is expensive. But when it comes to educating the kids, no price is too high for NYC’s thriving but insecure and success-obsessed yuppie class. The New York Times reports that the price of private schools in the city has risen by nearly 50 percent in the past ten years, with the average price for tuition approaching $40,000 per year—higher than many private universities. And that includes pre-school.

Not that parents are rebelling. Indeed, they’re doing everything possible to ensure their children get in:

For many parents, the sticker prices have ceased to shock. Instead, there are gripes about the grueling entry process and many of the ancillary costs that now seem nonnegotiable — private tutors, spring training in Florida for sports, unpaid internships at top research institutes to bolster college résumés. Amanda Uhry, who founded Manhattan Private School Advisors in 2001, said that in her entire career, no one had ever asked about the cost of the schools to which their children planned to apply.

This speaks volumes about the financial judgement of New York’s yuppie class, but for city dwellers of average means, there is plenty of good news here. Occupy protesters should be overjoyed at the fact that ill-gotten Wall Street gains will be redistributed to middle class teachers and school employees faster than ever before. Similarly, those concerned about hereditary ruling elites should breathe a sigh of relief: These parents are clearly too clueless and insecure to dominate the nation, throwing money away on schools that are little more than Ivy League candidate factories, producing narcissistic, group-thinking grads who will be too out of touch to run the country or communicate with their fellow citizens.

And speaking of the jobs of the future: at $40,000 per brat, I’m thinking of opening a pre-school. Organic crayons, of course, with all natural, hypoallergenic colors made by woman-led village cooperatives where they live peacefully in the rainforest, appreciating the diversity of its natural ecology.

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  • Anthony

    “…thriving but insecure….” Pretty much sums it up: inherent sense of “not quite there yet” but maybe a generation or two….

  • Aram

    Some headline for one who just wrote about Christmastide.Your screed probably doesn’t make Jesus happy and shows some deep resentment. alas time for me to worry about the log in my eye rather than the sty in your eye.

  • Toni

    Well said!

    I had a friend who worked in a private school and made less than the teachers’ union. I wonder if that’s true here.

  • Kris

    “Die, Yuppie Scum!”

    Now you’re talkin’!

    More seriously (but just as unoriginally), I am reminded of the more absurd results of sexual selection.

  • Eurydice

    Even though I share your concern about the ridiculous cost of education, I have to say that the increasing level of venom in the articles here is not attractive. This used to be a place to get away from the shrill sound of political trolls, but I guess they’re just too infectious.

  • Joe

    Re: “per brat”: Please save your contempt for the parents, not the children.

  • Andrew Allison

    Re:”. . . producing narcissistic, group-thinking grads who will be too out of touch to run the country or communicate with their fellow citizens”.
    Will be? Doesn’t this accurately describe those currently running the country?

  • thomas sowell of the hoover institution

    Walter, didn’t you go to Groton and Yale? Are New England WASPs less repulsive than their (Jewish) NYC analogs?

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