There’s some good news for the junk food addicts among the nation’s schoolteachers: you can stop sweating bullets. The strict new school nutrition guidelines won’t apply to you, at least not in private. “Smart Snacks in Schools nutritional standards”, mandated by the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 (otherwise known as the Shut Up and Eat Your Spinach law) went into effect in back in July, meaning that “dumb” (or in layman’s language, “tasty”) snacks can’t be sold to kids on school premises.
But the new federal snack rules for kids don’t apply to vending machines in teacher lounges:
To the extent that teachers’ lounges and other similar areas are restricted areas not accessible to students, the competitive food standards in this rule would not apply to foods sold in those areas.
As long as the kiddies can’t see them, America’s teachers can go on stuffing their pie holes with, well, pie. Kids of course will denounce this as just another example of adult hypocrisy, but kids can’t vote, so who cares?
What are we to make of this rare example of flexibility on the part of the nutrition commissars? Is this a regrettable oversight by the nanny state, or a Machiavellian super-move in the plan to shore up the blue social model? After all, if enough teachers die early from eating too many Doritos, the underfunded teacher union pension programs might not look so bad. The next step in a bold new program to save union pension systems: allow smoking again in the teacher lounges.
In any case, we’re sure America’s kids will get the important, life-changing message here: powerful people in this society don’t have to live by the same rules as the rubes, and they have their fun behind closed doors.